The Survivor to Thriver Manual discusses these issues in Chapter Three (pg. 35). As a note of caution, these things may be painful for you to read. You may want to wait until you feel you are prepared to handle the feelings that may come up. You may want to read this section with a friend and discuss your reactions with members of your support network or your therapist. Remember that while you are an adult now, the feelings that surface may be those of a child.
Here we will briefly touch on the definitions and information outlined in Chapter Three of The Survivor to Thriver Manual. Please see the manual for complete review of this vitally important information.
Child abuse is defined as an act of omission or commission that endangers or impairs a child’s physical or emotional health and development and is usually broken down into three categories: physical, sexual and emotional.
Physical abuse is defined as any physical act committed against a child, which results in a non-accidental injury. Examples of physical abuse include hitting, kicking, biting, slapping, and burning. The bodily signs that may indicate physical abuse can include bruises, burns, bites, welts, broken bones and many others. Most, if not all, of these physical signs may also be the result of natural causes not related to child abuse. It is extremely important that you keep this in mind while assessing what happened to you, and in any instance in which you observe such signs on another person – child or adult. Please take the time to read the rest of this section in the Manual and answer the journal questions.
Sexual abuse is defined as any sexual act directed at a child involving sexual contact, assault or exploitation. Sexual abuse is divided into two categories: contact and non-contact. Acts of contact sexual abuse include fondling, incest and intercourse. Examples of non-contact sexual abuse include exhibitionism, presentation of pornographic material, and sexual story telling. Physical signs of sexual abuse include sexually transmitted diseases, pain when urinating or defecating, and stomachaches or headaches. Remember some of these signs may also be the result of natural causes not related to child abuse. Please keep this in mind when you evaluate your own history. Please take the time to read the rest of this section in the Manual and answer the journal questions.
Emotional abuse is defined as a pattern of psychologically destructive interaction with a child that is characterized by five types of behaviors: rejecting, isolating, terrorizing, ignoring, and corrupting. Emotional abuse involves the use of "words as weapons." The scars left may be more psychological than physical, which makes emotional abuse harder to identify. Physical signs of emotional abuse may include malnourishment, small physical stature, poor grooming and inappropriate attire for the season or circumstances. Because these signs can result from other social and environmental causes, we again encourage you to take care in assessing your own personal experiences. Please take the time to read the rest of this section in the Manual and answer the journal questions.
Now you can use this knowledge as a standard to determine what actually happened to you. If you have some memories that you determine were abusive, write them down in your journal. If you have no or few memories from the past, you may still need more time to remember. Or, you may not have been abused. If you weren't in fact abused, you don't want to get caught up in the feeling that you must have been.
